Oh how we hate shots!!

I really hate shots. I once passed out while having blood taken. I'm told that in my unconscious state I punched a nurse in the jaw.

So one of the dreaded doctor's appointments was coming up for the boys, and I knew it was going to suck for all of us. I thought it would be a good idea to warn Jason and Tyler that they would be getting shots. It probably was a good idea, but Tyler started crying immediately. I promised we’d go get a treat after. He insisted he did not want one, thinking, I’m sure, that he wouldn’t have to get the shots then. You know—if he eats his broccoli he gets dessert—but he can get out of eating the broccoli if he can live without the dessert. That’s the delusion he was under.

It was Jason’s kindergarten check up, so he had to have his finger poked to test his iron. So the nurse poked him and his poor finger is dripping blood—onto the nurse’s hand and the carpet. Then when she goes to put the band-aid on she does something weird and snaps it on and blood spatters across the carpet. I start to wonder how much blood has accumulated over the years on this carpet. You can’t tell because it’s dark greenish grey. It occurs to me that it would probably be a great setting for a murder since it’s already covered in blood.

The doctor checks them from head to toe, while listening patiently to Joey talking nonstop about all sorts of important stuff; loose teeth, the dangers of riding a bike, how well he can hop on one foot, etc. They are pronounced fit as a fiddle, and then the part that we have been waiting for is upon us.

Tyler starts crying when he sees the nurse coming with that little buffet tray of needles. I grab him and pull his pants down to reveal his thigh, and the nurse starts rubbing his leg with one of those alcohol wipes and he screams and whacks it out of her hand onto the floor. We’ve already discussed the cleanliness of the floor so she has to get a new one. The other nurse grabs the first shot and tries to pull the cover off, but before she can, Tyler grabs it, by now screaming like a psychopath. She has to wrestle it out of his hand, then we have to pin his arms and legs, but he gets all the immunizations he needs and somehow manages to survive. During all this Jason has completely lost his head, crying, running around the room, looking for a place to hide. Joey is standing with his hands over his ears. I feel like a huge jerk when I plop Tyler down beside me and grab Jason for his turn to be tortured. Taking his cues from Tyler he screams every bit as dramatically, but gets all his shots, and now they are protected from measles, mumps, rubella, diphtheria, tetanus, pertussis and chicken pox. And when I tell the story it sounds funny, but I was crying the whole time. Doesn’t it suck to see your kids scared and in pain?!!
But actually, if I'm perfecty honest I'm a little glad that it was them and not me.
And the candy rack at Macey’s drove the whole bad experience from their minds.